Holy cow, I need to come to the blog for suggestions more often!!! Maybe one of these days, I’ll have to put a poll in where you guys plan our next date for us. We had so much fun! We dropped Ezekiel off at Dave’s sister’s house around 11, and they were so excited to see us. Our niece H had picked out all of the toys that she knew Eze would love in her room, and even found some baby books to read to him. She had pulled out her doll house, because she knew Eze would love playing with it. And how right she was. Although Eze likes playing with it by seeing how much stuff he can fit inside it, and kept driving the large car H had through each room of the house.
We sat and watched the kiddos play for a little while and chatted with M and B, and then gave Eze kisses and headed on out. I decided I was the most hungry for Philippine food, but since there isn’t a Philippine restaurant in the area anymore, I decided Thai food was my next best bet (sorry Nate, we’ll do your restaurant next time you guys are in town!! And Andy and Tyler, we want to go with you guys to some of those awesome restaurants you recommended when you are home). We drove on over to St Paul to the area where we used to live (the Summit Avenue area, for those of you who know the area – we miss living there!), and drove up and down Grand Ave for a while looking for the Thai place I wanted to go to that Amanda had recommended. I thought I knew right where it was, but couldn’t find it. Turns out it was on Selby, oops. We decided to hit up Brasa instead (Todd’s recommendation), and we are SO glad that we did. The atmosphere there was super laidback, and we sat outside in the beautiful sunshine while enoying our food and sweet tea. The restaurant has garage doors that open to the outside, so it was all light and airy, but we decided to sit outside so that I could work on my tan 
Brasa uses mainly organic and local food, so we were excited to support a restaurant like that. My goodness the food was absolutely amazing. I would recommend it to anyone looking for some good southern/down home cooking.
We decided to park over by our old house and walk over to the Grand Ole Creamery to try and walk off some of our lunch so that we’d have room for their delectable ice cream. We walked around people-watching while we ate our ice cream snacks, and stopped to leave a note for a friend who works on Grand at a hair salon but wasn’t working today. We then decided to head on down to the Mall of America to try and catch a movie. However, when we got there I wasn’t super excited to see any of the movies that were there. We decided to head to IKEA instead and try to find some inexpensive ways to finish decorating our house (5 years after we moved in!).
We ended up finding some great colors for bedsheets to finish decorating our bedroom, as well as some unfinished picture frames that we’re going to paint the vibrant colors of our living room/bedrooms that we’ll fill with black and white photos. I’ll put up some before and after pictures of the bedroom to post tomorrow. I have no clue when we’ll finish with the living room, but I’ll get pics up whenever we decide to finally get our patooties in gear I’ll also post what I did on my actual birthday later this week. Thanks again for helping us plan a super fun day, I had a GREAT birthday weekend!!!
Today I left work early so that Dave and I could get home in time for him to leave for the Basilica Block Party. I bought him the tickets for his birthday/Father’s Day gift. So anyway, when I got to my parents’ house to get Ezekiel ready to go home, I went down to the room he sleeps in to check on him. I heard him call out, “Nana!!” So I went in and found him in his pack n’ play holding his diaper with a somewhat proud look on his face. I was praying that he had just taken off the diaper right before I walked in the room. No such luck. He must have taken the diaper off before he went to sleep because the diaper was completely dry, and the crib completely soaked. Grrrrg. Oh the new things this boy learns every day! I’m hoping it’s a one time thing, this taking off his own diaper business, but I’m assuming we won’t be so lucky.
Yesterday my co-worker welcomed me to the bruised-toenail-and-blistered-toes-because-of-running club. The toenail on the second toe of my left foot is bruised and starting to pull away from the top of my toe. He warned me that my toenail might fall off. Gross, I know. I took a picture, but figured some people hate feet, so I wouldn’t post it. Plus my feet are in desperate need of a pedicure, which I plan on getting in the next couple of weeks before my sister’s wedding reception. Can they still do a pedicure if my toenail really does fall off? Hmmm…
To stay on the topic of gross things, Ezekiel’s diapers have smelled like vomit mixed with poo lately. This boy CANNOT handle sugar and/or chocolate. He acts like a hormonal teenager and has nasty diapers for days afterward. It could also be the top left molar that is starting to poke through his gums, but whatever it is, it is nastiness. Aren’t you glad I shared?
Okay, I’ve had a couple of people e-mail me questions, and I still haven’t answered them. It’s been a couple of months. I feel like a bad bloggy friend. I figured instead of answering over e-mail, I’d answer over the blog. So here goes…
Your blog posts mention that your house was quiet, neat, clean,
peaceful before Eze came along, and you described yourself as a
homebody…this pretty much describes our life…no kids, happy,
peaceful marriage, quiet home, love to be home. In a million ways I
look forward to spending time with a little one, to the joy and
laughter that will enter our home, but I also worry about making the
adjustment, in a sleep deprived state, to a noisy toddler, who
provides constant stimulation. Do you have any advice?
Some moments I miss my quiet and clean house, but I have to say that those moments aren’t as often as they used to be. I quit worrying so much about what people think of my house when they come over. I have a friend who drops by some nights when she needs to chat, and the last time she came over she could barely walk through my living room because it was so cluttered with toys. I didn’t even notice it until she left, and realized I didn’t feel bad about it because I knew she understood. Most people will understand why you’re house looks like a toddler tornado came through. I find little pockets of time to get my deep cleaning done, and usually have Eze “help” me by giving him his own rag or play vacuum. And he LOVES to be just like mommy and daddy. He also loves putting things in their places, so he always helps us pick up each night (it is part of his nighttime routine). I’m hoping he’ll always love cleaning as much as he does right now It’s amazing how much more often the house needs cleaning now that we’re home so much more. No matter what, my house will never be as clean as it probably should be. I don’t love cleaning – I’ll always find something else to do first.
And regarding keeping up with Ezekiel? I am still surprised each day at just how much energy I have when I’m with him. I thought I’d be a lot more tired getting less sleep and having so much more responsibility. Maybe it’s the running I’ve been doing, but I truly think his energy rubs off on me each day. And I’ve finally learned that it’s okay to tell him to go play by himself if I need to lay down on the couch for a few minutes to regain some energy. I think that’s one thing that I really needed to do – cut myself more slack. I was worried about keeping him entertained at all times, and I was exhausting myself. Now I’m not so worried about it because I know he needs his alone play time just as much as I need my alone time. It’s something we all have to learn.
Dave and I don’t get out alone nearly as much as we should. Now that Eze’s been home 6 months, we’re feeling like we’re ready to do this more often, and leave him with a family member or good friend. And we know that after he’s been home for a year, we’ll finally be ready for a good high school-aged babysitter to come in and watch him. It’s hard to bring him to someone’s house right now for him to be watched because of his nap and bedtime schedule (this boy loves and needs his sleep). We don’t know many people who live close by who could come over to our house to watch him in order to put him down for naps/sleeping at our house, plus we’re not very good at asking for help. So for now we are going to plan our dates around sleeping times.
I’ve also received varying advice on reading a lot of attachment
books. Some people have said not to read certain titles because of the
negative, scary, worst-case-scenario approach. I’m a researcher by
profession, and my inclination is to read tons of toddler attachement
books, but I could see myself becoming really afraid, psyched out,
discouraged, etc. by the horror stories of failed attempts at
attachment that might be in these books. Did you find any books to
have a more positive spin on the subject? How did you stop yourself
from going crazy with anxiety about the attachment issue?
I am definitely not a researcher by nature. I have to force myself to research things before I go out and do them, and usually I just go out there and try it, and learn by trial and error. And while I did read a little bit before we brought Ezekiel home, I found that the books made a lot more sense after we brought him home. Especially the book “Toddler Adoption” by Hopkins-Best. I tried reading it before Ezekiel came home, and just couldn’t get past the first couple of chapters. After Ezekiel came home, I devoured that book and even read it twice in one week. It was exactly what I needed right after we brought him home. Other books I liked very much were “Adoption Parenting: Creating a Toolbox, Building Connections” by MacLeod and Macrae, as well as “Raising Adopted Children” by Melina.
Hey all, Dave is taking me out on a date on Sunday for a belated birthday date (the big 2-9 is on Saturday!!). We’re just going to do lunch and a movie in Minneapolis while Dave’s sister watches Ezekiel. She’s super excited, which makes us super excited
Anyway. I’m having a hard time finding a restaurant to eat at. I want something different but delicious. Can any of you give me a recommendation? We thought of trying the one and only Philippine restaurant in Minneapolis, but have heard not-great reviews for it. Bummer.
Eze checking out one of the huge kitty cats
Eze, Dave and M by the seals
Checking out giraffes and snuggling with Auntie Fast
Riding the giraffe
Eze giving G a foot rub - he'll be a great husband someday
I love this shot I got of Eze playing in a "nunnel"
Cool contrast - a very tanned Eze giving his very pale mama some pebbles.
Eze cheesin' for the camera while Gus pouts in the back seat b/c he has to wear his seatbelt again.
Reading the paper like Daddy
Cousin K and me before the 8K race
Kel coming down the chute (and you can see me finishing the race in the background in the blue shirt/black shorts)
Eze picking up some candy at the parade
Eze with Snow White and Princess G (yelling loudly HERE for the candy throwers)
Eze the Viking (sorry Uncle Nate) using the girlies' princess umbrella
Eze and his new little girlfriend who wanted to hold his hand all evening and drag him around. So cute.
Playing on the beach with some new little friends
*Saturday morning’s race made us all happy campers as we had either personal bests, or were happy with our first-evers (Cousin Kel and I both ran our first 8Ks ever, and were happy with our times), even though it was crazy humid during the run and rainy toward the end. My goal was to not be last in the race, and my even bigger goal was to run the 8K (4.97 miles) in under 52 minutes. I finished in 50:26, while Kel finished in 50:21. WAHOO!!!! Dave kicked my 5K time’s patootie by running it in a 29:44, while my mom had another personal best at 36:36. My dad and Eze walked the 5K course with the stroller and Dad got to listen to Eze sing (to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle), “Mommy mommy mommy mom, daddy daddy daddy dad…” Pretty funny little boy, and you don’t have to wonder who his favorite people in this world are. *warm fuzzies*
I haven’t felt like writing on the bloggy lately. I just don’t know how to get everything in my head down in words. I’ve got deep things running through my mind, and am having a hard time processing it all. So instead I fill my quiet time with Bejeweled.Blitz on FB or solitaire or re-reading the Harry Potter series. Anything to keep me from thinking too much. And this isn’t something that has started ever since all of this with Nathan. It’s something that I’ve been dealing with ever since we brought Eze home. I want to explain, but even now I don’t know how to form the words for the thoughts that are simmering inside. Nothing like parenthood to make you question everything…
Speaking of parenthood, Eze has been a huge ray of sunshine in our lives this week. He’s talking more and more all of the time. On Tuesday he said his first 4-word combination, “I loh loo, Melmo” (I love you, Elmo). My new favorite word that he is saying is i-coo (ice cream). This morning Dave got him out of his crib and immediately he asked Dave, “i-coo??” Dave laughed and told him that he couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. Then tonight I was not feeling like deciding what to make for supper, and so I asked Eze what he wanted for supper. He told me “tee tee” (cookie). Made me giggle that he actually understood what I was asking and gave me a real answer to that question.
Every night that I head to bed, I always make a stop in Eze’s room to watch him sleep and give him a kiss if his hand is close enough to the crib rails. Each night this week, he opened his eyes when I kissed him and gave me the biggest sleepy grin. Oh how he melts my heart. He is lovin’ his mama (oh, now I’m MOMMY, and I LOVE that!!!!) more and more each day, and often runs to me for hugs and kisses.
Tomorrow we head down to my hometown in the morning, and even though we both could have tomorrow off, I’m going to work a full day and save my holiday for the 24th when my mom can’t watch Eze. Dave’s going to work a half day and save his other half for some other day. I’m actually really looking forward to it, because my dad (also my boss) and I are going to work at a coffee shop in town together on our computers. It’ll be nice to have him right there to ask all my work questions.
My uncle and aunt, who are missionaries in Hong Kong, just flew back to MN tonight and will be staying at my parents’ house this weekend. Their two daughters are also coming in tonight and we’ll all be staying at my parents’ house together this weekend. I’m excited for Eze to meet more family. Plus we all have fun playing games together and I’m a game maniac. Woot!
Then on Saturday is another big race day! My cousin K and I are going to run the 8K, and Dave, my mom and my dad (and Eze) are going to do the 5K run/walk. I’m nervous for the longer race – I mostly just don’t want to come in last. So that’s my goal. After the race is the parade. I think I’m the most excited for Eze to go to the parade with us. I don’t think I’ve ever missed going to the parade in my hometown (I used to march in it with the marching band! I was a trombone player). I think Ezekiel is going to flip his lid when he sees it all, and I can’t wait to see his reaction. I promise pictures from our weekend once we’re home.
I updated my post below. A sad night. Hug the people you love. You never ever know what life holds.
We got home from a wonderful day at the zoo and discovered some very sad news about a friend of ours from our old church, who was also someone I went to college with. He was out on a houseboat on a lake in northern MN with his youth group when he and another man fell in. Now he’s missing, and the body of the other man who also fell into the lake with him was found. Not good news. I don’t know much more than this, but I know there are praying people who read this blog. Please be praying for my friend Nathan and his wife Samantha. They have 4 young children, 3 girls and 1 boy. Please pray for a miracle.
Update: Nothing was found by divers tonight. The divers cannot do anything in the dark, so they will start back up again tomorrow morning.
Update #2: Still no more news on Nathan. Here is a news link: http://www.wdio.com/article/stories/s1001794.shtml?cat=10335. What I have heard is that they were out on a sandbar swimming when high winds came up. Other than that, there really aren’t details. I was up a lot last night thinking about Sam. Dave said, “I bet the one thing she really wants right now is Nathan’s arms wrapped around her”. So we held each other for a long time, and thought about how fortunate we are to have another night together.
Update #3: The body of Nathan has now been found as well. The family is at the hospital saying their goodbyes. Such a sad night. Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their children. Grandparents shouldn’t have to say goodbye to their grandchildren. Wives aren’t supposed to become widows before the age of 30. This sucks.
My baby doll - he was also trying to put the baby doll's dress on here
Another shot of the baby doll
At the grocery store with cousin K
This boy LOVES peanut butter sandwiches. And looks 15 in this picture.
In an effort to jump on the bandwagon – when I was about 5, my brother introduced me to Michael Jackson. He loved him some Michael. He dressed up in his best Michael Jackson gear in 5th grade and did the moonwalk during a choir concert – I don’t remember it, just love looking at the pics of it. What I do vividly remember is that he would set up cardboard pieces in the basement of the house we lived in at that time, and spin my sisters and me in different breakdance moves. He tried to teach us to moonwalk. When we moved to the house that my parents still live in, I was in 2nd grade. My brother and older sister set up a spooky room, and had the song “Thriller” playing on the record player as they had my younger sister and I walk through the spooky room. I don’t even remember what made it spooky except that it was dark and the music loud and scary, but I think one of them jumped out at my younger sister. She screamed and cried, and the scary room was disassembled.
Sometimes I wonder if Ezekiel will be an older brother. One who likes to scare his younger siblings, and teach them all about good music. We’ve had many people asking us that question about having additional children lately. If I had to answer the question today and have that be my final answer, the answer would be no. We’re content and busy enough with one right now. The other part to that answer is that we couldn’t even start another adoption from the Philippines right now if we wanted to. I know that we could adopt from other countries, but for some reason we felt like if we decide to adopt again, we would want to do the Philippines. We’ve already been there, done that, so that would make us more comfortable the next time around. Then Eze and his sibling/s would share that part of their history. Also, the Philippines has a 1-year rule where we couldn’t even apply for another adoption until Eze’s been home a year, and then they wouldn’t even consider us for a match until he’d been home 2 years. And then there’s the moratorium that’s been placed on Philippines adoptions right now. We couldn’t request a child 3 years of age or younger, and we don’t want to adopt out of birth order. And still another part to that answer is that it’s taken us longer to recover financially from the adoption of Ezekiel than we thought it would. It’s going to take us much longer than we thought it would to rebuild funds if we ever do decide to adopt again.
So I’ve kind of been starting to dislike that question lately. Because even though right now I know we’re not ready, I know in my heart that someday we will probably want to have more children. And it stings to be reminded that we can’t get pregnant (still stings, after all these years), and have a baby nine months later (which doesn’t even happen all of the time, so many people in our lives have lost babies recently). I guess I’m feeling pretty negative about it all, but this has been on my mind for a while now. And since my blog is my therapy, I needed to get it out. Doing another adoption just sounds exhausting to me right now. The paperwork daunting. The wait unbearable. The attachment process hard.
There are people out in the adoption world who I admire very much that are starting (or are into the process) of adopting their second or third. I wonder how they do it. Did they have the doubts that I have right now about it all? Or was it an easy decision for them? And then other questions run through my head. When will people stop telling me that I’ll get pregnant now that we’ve adopted Eze, because it happened to their friend’s friend’s friend? When will that quit stinging so badly? I feel like I’m being whiny and woe-is-me-y. I keep reminding myself that there are parts of my life that others aren’t as fortunate to have. I hope I can keep that in my mind and be sensitive when speaking with people, being loving toward them in my words and actions. I feel better getting this off my chest today. Phew.
