My Dave

In the beginning of this second adoption, when we were trying to figure out just where to adopt from, we were told “no” to Thailand because of Dave’s health history, “no” to China because he had an organ removed (kidney), “no” to the traditional Korea program because of Dave’s health history. I felt so frustrated about it all. Then we got our “yes” for the Korea waiting child program. When I saw our son’s face, I realized all of that happened for a reason, to direct us to just the right place.

I need to brag on my Dave. He is an amazing Dad. AMAZING. This past week there was no preschool for the whole week because of MEA (a Minnesota thing), when all Minnesota schools are out for Thursday and Friday so teachers can attend conferences/workshops if they choose. During that week, Dave and Eze played their little hearts out. And had a great week together. I got home from work on Thursday and was greeted with this:

Eze and the Puppet Show stage

Dave and Eze had built a puppet show stage. When I got home, Ezekiel put on a little show for me with a moose and Cookie.Monster. This is something that NEVER would have happened when I was home with Eze over the summer. I’m not crafty in the least, nor motivated to try to build something like that. Dave completely shows me up in the stay-at-home parent department.

And this was why I felt frustrated with the “no” responses that we were getting. If they could just glimpse into our life for 2.2 minutes, they would see a dad who is incredibly devoted, active, loving, intelligent. The best role model I could ask for our sons. I didn’t like that they were just looking at a piece of paper and writing Dave off. He’s so much more than his health history.

Last week Dave told me that he overheard Ezekiel telling the neighbor girl, “Don’t worry, my daddy can do it. He can do lots of things. He’s a good man”. Then this week Ezekiel and Dave had had a disagreement. Ezekiel told Dave that he was frustrated with him because Dave had raised his voice at him. Dave apologized, and then Ezekiel said, “It’s okay, Dad. We’re best friends. Will you be my boyfriend?”


Eze and his best friend.


5 responses to “My Dave

  1. This is like a chapter out of my heart and my life. No matter how much they think they do, no one knows your family the way you do – you are so much more than a diagnosis, so much more than what is written on paper. So glad you overcame the obstacles to find your second bambino. (we’re still waiting for someone to see that we’re more than a diagnosis and allow us to parent #1…)

  2. I hear ya! We were rejected by the Philippines 2nd time round based on my hubby’s health history (I might add he’s been cancer free for 16 years!!) I don’t even think they read the complete homestudy…forget about how well the 1st child they entrusted us with was doing and how much he is loved and cared for…Nor did they acknowledge the letter from the dr. stating hubby is in perfect health and the cancer probably would NEVER reoccur! They saw the “C” word and put a big “X” on our file!

    However, with all that said, YEAH for Vietnam for entrusting us with a beautiful baby boy regardless of the past and YEAH for S. Korea for entrusting you with this beautiful baby boy!

    Jess :-)))

  3. I love it Rach! Dave is a rock start of a dad!! Hayley keeps asking me to be her husband and I have to laugh and just say yes:) These kids crack me up!!

  4. You are not alone in your assessment of Dave’s amazing parenting skills. He is more than a fantastic dad. There is nothing rational about the reasons your family was told “no”. Nothing. And there isn’t much that angers me more than to see two parents like you guys have to “prove” just how capable you are.

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