What To Write?

I haven’t felt like writing on the bloggy lately. I just don’t know how to get everything in my head down in words. I’ve got deep things running through my mind, and am having a hard time processing it all. So instead I fill my quiet time with Bejeweled.Blitz on FB or solitaire or re-reading the Harry Potter series. Anything to keep me from thinking too much. And this isn’t something that has started ever since all of this with Nathan. It’s something that I’ve been dealing with ever since we brought Eze home. I want to explain, but even now I don’t know how to form the words for the thoughts that are simmering inside. Nothing like parenthood to make you question everything…

Speaking of parenthood, Eze has been a huge ray of sunshine in our lives this week. He’s talking more and more all of the time. On Tuesday he said his first 4-word combination, “I loh loo, Melmo” (I love you, Elmo). My new favorite word that he is saying is i-coo (ice cream). This morning Dave got him out of his crib and immediately he asked Dave, “i-coo??” Dave laughed and told him that he couldn’t have ice cream for breakfast. Then tonight I was not feeling like deciding what to make for supper, and so I asked Eze what he wanted for supper. He told me “tee tee” (cookie). Made me giggle that he actually understood what I was asking and gave me a real answer to that question.

Every night that I head to bed, I always make a stop in Eze’s room to watch him sleep and give him a kiss if his hand is close enough to the crib rails. Each night this week, he opened his eyes when I kissed him and gave me the biggest sleepy grin. Oh how he melts my heart. He is lovin’ his mama (oh, now I’m MOMMY, and I LOVE that!!!!) more and more each day, and often runs to me for hugs and kisses.

Tomorrow we head down to my hometown in the morning, and even though we both could have tomorrow off, I’m going to work a full day and save my holiday for the 24th when my mom can’t watch Eze. Dave’s going to work a half day and save his other half for some other day. I’m actually really looking forward to it, because my dad (also my boss) and I are going to work at a coffee shop in town together on our computers. It’ll be nice to have him right there to ask all my work questions.

My uncle and aunt, who are missionaries in Hong Kong, just flew back to MN tonight and will be staying at my parents’ house this weekend. Their two daughters are also coming in tonight and we’ll all be staying at my parents’ house together this weekend. I’m excited for Eze to meet more family. Plus we all have fun playing games together and I’m a game maniac. Woot!

Then on Saturday is another big race day! My cousin K and I are going to run the 8K, and Dave, my mom and my dad (and Eze) are going to do the 5K run/walk. I’m nervous for the longer race – I mostly just don’t want to come in last. So that’s my goal. After the race is the parade. I think I’m the most excited for Eze to go to the parade with us. I don’t think I’ve ever missed going to the parade in my hometown (I used to march in it with the marching band! I was a trombone player). I think Ezekiel is going to flip his lid when he sees it all, and I can’t wait to see his reaction. I promise pictures from our weekend once we’re home.